I was asked to write an article about bullying. I looked up all the statistics, all the school policies, and I did this thinking I would just write this informational article. I wrote that article and I now think the best article would be a mom talking about the struggles she has had dealing with bullies on her children and trying not to raise bullies.
You cannot always be there to protect your children. There will always be someone out there that is willing to belittle another person for a good laugh or to make them feel better about themselves. As a mom, how do I protect my child? How do I comfort them when they come home in tears? How do I prevent my child from someone else hurting them? The answer really is you can’t prevent that because you cannot always be there to protect them.
So, instead since I cannot always be there to protect my children so I gave them the tools to protect themselves. I have taken my daughter to self-defense classes to give the knowledge to defend herself if she’s ever in a situation that she cannot get out of. I told my children to tell somebody if their friends have a situation that is harmful to them or someone else my children come to me and talk to me. They know to go to a teacher if someone is harming them or someone else. They know that nothing will happen to change any situation that involves bullying, violence, verbal abuse, or anything like that unless you talk to somebody about it. I also have told them to walk away first and if that is not an option, they can defend themselves. We have taught them to stand up for themselves and for others.
Having your child come home angry and sad from a sport practice because the rest of the team does not like them, or they think they are better than them, are mean to them in and out of the locker room is not fun. At one point even making them sit on the floor in the locker room and purposely hurting them. How do you handle that? We talked with the coaches and had the issue resolved. With our child we just gave hugs, wiped the tears away and let them vent. We told them it was not ok to be treated that way.
Let’s talk about cyber bullying now that the main platforms are social media. A group of kids had made a TikTok page that fat shamed girls, called them out on who they were dating, just down right being mean to the kids they went to school with. My children were not on the page but after telling me and showing me it, I did report it and to my knowledge it was taken down. We had called to inform the school of the page to see if there was anything they could do about it. Since it was probably made off of school property there was not much they could do.
With that being said, what do we do when your child says that the only folders left in the school supplies section will get him teased? He is a boy and all they had were heart folders. I took him to Boss and got him some regular folders, but how sad is that? That we live in a world where the clothes you wear, the cups you drink out of, the types of school supplies that you get, the version of phone you have, are all reasons to tease someone?
Now, I am a mom, trying to raise good children. However, there are days where I wonder if I am really doing it right when I hear that my child is the bully. I remember a couple of years back my son ran another child down the stairs at the school. After the school had called me I sat our son down and had a long talk about how the other child felt. He was grounded and we have not had another incident since with him. Our other one is a lot younger than his siblings and he is the one that is hard to raise. We have taken him in stride, and make everything a teaching moment on kindness. We explain that not everyone can have new clothes, or shop the latest trends. We tell him that sometimes the only time some kids smile is when they are at school and to be nice. I don’t know how many calls from the school we have had on him but every year he is learning and it is less and less. We try to teach him respect and the golden rule. We tell him we care about how he treats others and how he is treated. Believe me when I say it is work. You mamas out there with the wild child know what I mean. I know I am doing something right, when I hear of how kind he is when we are not around.
Kids are mean, I know one day they will grow up and realize that in the school years, none of it mattered. However, how you treat people during those years it matters. Some get so tired of the bullying that they go as far as to take their life, or the lives of others. Please teach your kids kindness. Teach them to always have love for others in their hearts. Teach them that just because someone is different does not make them better than you or you better than them. Teach them to stick up for their peers. That sometimes making that one kid that sits alone every day smile, may be the moment that made their day.
If your child is on the receiving end of a bully, tell them to reach out to anyone that is an adult, to tell you, a teacher, a counselor, the principal, or another parent. Tell them to not hold in those feelings and to talk about them, to not make a permanent solution for a temporary problem, let them know you love them and you care about their problems.
If you would like to know more about bullying or would like to know some more resources other than this Mom’s view you can go to the following web pages.
Bullying Prevention Resources | Committee for Children
No Bully - fighting for a world with zero violence, zero hate, and zerbullying
The high school’s handbook has the school’s policy on bullying.
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