Photographs & Memories

It has been 40 years since singer and songwriter Jim Croce died in an airplane crash. His music inspired me in the 1970s; and some of his words have recently come back to haunt me. “Photographs and memories,” Croce sings, “Christmas cards you sent to me . . . all that I have are these to remember you.”

I’ve been doing a lot of reminiscing lately. That’s because I recently put together a “best of” DVD of our family videotapes. Working on this compilation has been a bittersweet experience. On Christmas Eve we looked at a tape I made some 20 years ago, when the kids were all preschoolers. The boys were cute beyond belief. (See pictures.) My sons are all in college now. They were more interested in seeing what they looked like in 1991 than they were in opening presents. Perhaps they have grown out of the need to celebrate Christmas in a merely commercial manner.

My sons are not boys anymore. They are young adults. Someday they will be independent, but the fact of the matter is that my sons still need me to help them with car maintenance, college financing, grad school applications, etc. True independence should be their goal, but for now that is just a light at the end of the tunnel. And that’s how it is with families: We rush through the all too busy childhood years; we tolerate the teenage years; we try our best to help our kids get through the college years; and then we gradually morph into the grandparent phase of life.

Many of you have seen your children get married. You have experienced the joy of your kids having children of their own. Becoming a grandparent is no longer a dreaded phase in life. I look forward to those future happenings. My sons are delayed in this regard, however. That’s okay. I want them to finish their schooling and get a decent job before they take on the added responsibility of becoming a spouse and parent.

It’s been fun to look back at how things were. Twenty years have passed in the blink of an eye. Another twenty years will pass before we know it. Someday these too will be “the good old days”. We’ll look at our photographs with fond memories. Some of us, however, will no longer be around to reminisce. There will be empty seats at our dinner tables. As Jim Croce’s song puts it, we will be glad to have our memorabilia . . .

“Photographs and memories, all the love you gave to me, somehow it just can’t be true, that’s all I’ve left of you.”

I end this week’s column with a bit of philosophy. Enjoy your memories. Do not regret the past – nor foolishly try to relive it. Cherish your loved ones. It’s a sad fact that they won’t always be with us. Anticipate the future with optimism. Make plans but don’t be disappointed if they don’t come to fruition. It is up to us to make the effort, after all, but we must leave the results up to God. And let’s make the most of each day, so that this time in our lives is something that we can forever relish.

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“Yesterday is but a dream; tomorrow is only a vision; but today, well lived, makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well, therefore, to this day, for it is life, the very life of life.” (a Sanskrit Proverb)