A Long Walk With My Mom

Anyone who has ever watched dementia or Alzheimer’s destroy a loved one knows the heartbreak this disease brings to families. In an effort to deal with dementia and to pass along what she learned while coping with her mother who developed Alzheimer’s disease, Kim Syth, Fairview, has written a book, A Long Walk with my Mom. This book, written from notes made during the time Syth helped care for her mother, contains a personal viewpoint of dementia, lessons learned, and how family members learned to cope and deal with this disease.

“I’m not a writer and I never expected to write a book, but I did, and I did it for my Mom,” Syth remarks. “It is a small book, but I hope it helps others.”

She continues, “Alzheimer’s and dementia are like cancer once was – the unspoken. This book is about my journey with my mom through dementia and Alzheimer’s disease; the good, the sad and the ugly. So many families are going through this hurting and they need to know they are not alone. Faith, family and friends help you through tough times and I thought that we need information out there that families coping with dementia and Alzheimer’s are not alone.”

Syth learned many lessons during her journey, lessons she shares in her book. “I learned a lot,” Syth comments. “For instance, keep a normal routine. A normal routine makes life easier for everyone. My mom got meals on wheels, then I’d go see her and we’d go to the post office, then come home and have an early lunch. If you can, keep a normal routine every day.”

She continues, “When a person has Alzheimer’s, he or she does much better in a one-on-one situation. It isn’t good to go to large events because when in large groups, things tend to become garbled for the Alzheimer’s patient and he or she does not understand what’s going on.”

Syth emphasizes the need to get one’s personal finances squared away prior to the onset of dementia. “Have affairs in order before this happens,” she says. “Once a person can no longer make decisions, it is too late.”

In her book, Syth also outlines the small quirks of her mother’s that the family noticed and how the disease affected the entire family, not just her mom. “Every situation is different,” Syth notes. “People with Alzheimer’s may become afraid of the person in the mirror, or maybe they don’t want to be touched.”

Syth also discusses the needs of the care giver. “One chapter is about helping others,” she comments. “It is important as a care giver to help yourself. Don’t make promises you can’t keep and find someone that you can talk to, cry with, and who will let you vent.”

Syth offers sound advice to others going through the process of watching a loved one suffer with Alzheimer’s disease. “Take one day at a time, have faith, appreciate the small things, and laugh often, because if you don’t laugh, you’ll be crying all the time,” she remarks. “No one is perfect, but we do learn from our mistakes. Discover what works for you, take breaks, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Remember that even when your loved one no longer knows who you are, somewhere inside they are still your loved one.”

She adds, “Life is not fair, but you can’t look back, you can’t change the past. However, you can work towards making a better future.”

Syth strongly advocates support groups and the valuable assistance these groups provide. “People should join a support group because everyone there is taking the same journey,” she says. “You are with others who are experiencing the same thing. Support groups are designed for caregivers, to give them help and support.”

Syth will walk in the second annual Dementia/Alzheimer’s walk scheduled for Sunday, Oct. 2 in Fairview. People can purchase her book during the walk event, or they can order books from Amazon.com or from Barnes and Noble.

A portion of what Syth earns from her book will go to the Sidney Extended Care Facilty’s Angel Avenue. “I will have books with me at the walk,” Syth says. “If people buy my book directly from me, I can give more proceeds from the sale to Angel Avenue at the Extended Care Center. People who work at the Center are remarkable. They have a tough job, but they make people feel like family. I am so grateful we have a place like that here, where loved ones can go when they no longer can look after themselves.”